My Bear

Today is my sweet middle boy's birthday. He turned five. This morning when he woke up and I looked at him he said "I feel bigger today!". By 10am we were in the grocery store parking lot and he was reminding me that "Five is still little Mama...little enough to be carried, and little enough to get a ride in the cart.". My boy is a master at manipulating a situation. His smile is so contagious, his laugh warms you from the inside out, and he can melt you with his eyes that are as crystal blue as the sky.

He loves to joke.  And he really is funny.  He can turn your mood from bad to good in no time flat.

My favorite story to tell him is a story from when he was only weeks old.  His "big" brother was just a mere 2 years old...I remember looking at him next to this giant toddler and thinking how old, how independent 2 is.  We were walking in a parking lot and my big boy said to me "Mama, I tired.  Carry me?" to which I replied "Nathan, you are a BIG boy!  Owen is a baby.  Big boys walk!"  Imagine telling a 2 year old he has to walk because he's so big.  At the time it was the only thing I could do...walking through a parking lot holding a 2 year old and a newborn in an infant seat would be near impossible.  So I did what any mother would do...I found a solution.  My solution was to make that baby walk.  Nathan did it with grace.  He never complained about it, never whined about it.  He just walked.

Looking back I realize how fleeting time is.  How quick they grow, they change, and pretty soon, they are too big to carry through a parking lot.  Too big to crawl into your lap.  Too big to need you like they did when they were little.  When in the moment you are always wishing for them to be a little bigger, do a little more on their own, be a little more independent.

Now here we are, 5 years later.  Picture me, walking through a parking lot with a 7 year old, a 5 year old, and an 18 month old.  My sweet baby Owen will look at me and say "Carry me, Mama!" to which I reply "I stopped carrying Nathan like that when he was 2!  It's time for you to be a big boy and walk!"  My sweet middle boy...do you know what he says?  "I am a big boy!  But I'll always be your baby."

Yes, baby, you always will be.  Happy Birthday.

I started this post on 3/28-4 days ago.  It's amazing to me given the content that life got away from me once again and here I am finishing in a quiet moment 4 days later.